Sunday, February 26, 2017

Town Meetin' Day




Art: Deb Marshall



Come the day, the town the Husband and I lived in back in the dark ages was eager for Town Meetin’. The Men and Women Who Get Things Done had worked magic: in the big schoolroom was a table for the Town Worthies to sit behind, a podium, folding chairs in rows behind the desks, and long lunch tables lined the hall.  On one side the Historical Society ladies sold loaves of bread, pies, cookies, jam, relishes. Opposite, the Church Ladies, who needed gear and table space, sold hot dogs, coffee, and never quite enough frosted brownies to citizens who didn’t want to travel home during lunch break and hadn’t come prepared. In the last empty space ladies from the Snowmobile Club were selling raffle tickets – win a pair of snowmobile boots!

The Minister paces, nervously thumbing a copy of Robert’s Rules of Order. This is not his usual rule book, and like his flock, the townspeople are not always willing rule followers. The Town Worthies – three selectmen, town clerk, tax collector, road agent, cemetery overseer, and overseer of the poor – several of whom are the same person – huddle, speaking in urgent, just audible voices. We wonder - what important matter requires a private conference? On Town Meetin’ day?

Older women arrive carrying comfortable lawn chairs. Their husbands take their old seats in the classroom, voting blocks of ancient friends, content with each others’ ideas on the issues; these are the seats of power and privilege. Late-comers are dismayed to discover their seats usurped by over-eager youngstahs, or worse, by newcomahs who don’t know any better.

The women each hold something – knitting, crocheting, a quilt section – to work on. The young mothers hover near the doors so they can make a quick exit with crying babies and shout at the children playing outside. Folks From Away all arrive early, nattily dressed in khakis and sport shirts with brightly-colored sweaters. They perch nervously on the first row of folding chairs, feeling like they don’t belong in this family gathering, but determined to prove themselves good sports by showing up and sharing their knowledge of zoning laws and taxes. Jan, long ago From Away, soon is nodding, asleep sitting up. 

The largest voting block stands four deep against the back wall: the Bubbas take the day off to defend personal freedom. These - the volunteer firemen, road crewmen, carpenters, and old cranks - are guaranteed to vote FOR new fire and road equipment, and with noisy arguments AGAINST all items increasing expenditures for the school, library, regional ambulance service, and any social programs the town might support. These men – warriors all – are the self-appointed conscience and arbiters of the town:  each objection they raise begins with a reminder that, in the past, we did just fine without all this pansy-assed new, expensive stuff. These defenders of a way of life have dressed for battle - lest anyone mistake them for someone with money in the bank - wearing their oldest, most tattered coveralls, greasiest billed caps, banged-up work boots. Their wives come only to sell raffle tickets; they already know what their warriors are going to say, and don’t care to hear it again.

The Poet sits near the door so she can slip out easily. The madwoman, seated largely in the very center of the room, whispers loudly to everyone nearby about some slight she’s suffered at the hands of the Poet. The Poet takes no notice. Leaning against the side wall, the farmers, a group of older men dressed in neat green work clothes, talk about barns and machinery and weather and seed potato. 

Finally the Worthies sit and the nervous Minister rises behind the podium and calls the meeting to order. As soon as he begins to speak, pointedly affronted shufflings and throat-clearings erupt. The church has undergone a rift, and some of the congregation have taken their souls elsewhere to be saved. These changelings want to make sure the Minister understands that though they’re at town meeting where he’s presiding, he shouldn’t expect to see them Sunday.

Joe snagged one of the geezer’s desks, and refuses to notice the stir this has caused. He gains the floor over and over to expound on matters he lards with Facts & Figures, arguing for progress and zoning and against town financial support of the Snowmobile Club. No one interrupts, waiting silently until Joe stops talking.They pointedly return to arguing whether the State has the legal or moral right to regulate septic system installation, and disallow a homeowner to dig a privy; and whether sports and music and art waste school time and town money. Joe, seeing that no one heeds his Facts & Figures, wonders if everyone in town is as stupid as they seem; everyone else in town, seeing that Joe can’t follow the discussion, wonders if he’s as stupid as he seems, or just determined to impose flatlander values. No one remembers Joe grew up two towns over, brother of lobstermen.

The meeting warms up; the Bubbas object strenuously to paving gravel roads, buying library books, and painting the school house – though they divide on this one, as two would expect to be hired to do the job. They campaign vigorously for a new fire truck and overtime for snowplowing. One allows as how he thinks anyone receiving welfare should man the volunteer fire department and grave-digging crews; another old crank moves we secede from the State and Nation over the privy issue.

The Poet makes an impassioned plea for support for the library; the mad woman counters with her own impassioned plea for library support, somehow contradicting everything the Poet just said.

The oldest warrior breaks in to demand to know where in hell the town had gotten the photo of the old church that’s on the cover of the town warrant, and he hopes to hell the town hadn’t paid one a them fancy photographers for it, because he knows for a fact he has some old photos lyin’ around the house if anyone woulda just asked, and the photo isn’t very good, besides. Sally offers to describe the old photos stored in her house since 1910; another old fart wants to know why the town spent money to print the warrant when the school has an expensive copy machine the town paid for two years ago and should be using for free. The president of the Snowmobile Club wants to know if the selectmen are aware that the school principal charges residents ten cents a page to make copies on that machine; and someone down front announces that his copy of the warrant hadn’t arrived in the mail until tomorrow. Within seconds half the town has volunteered that theirs, too, hasn’t arrived or just arrived, torn.

The Minister restores order. The town debates whether to zone the main road to eliminate junkyards. The owner of five junk vehicles and a rusty pile of spare parts parked on a lot across from the grocery store says he thinks it’s downright sneaky for Joe to try this route to get him to move his antique cars when Joe himself has a half-derelict building on his property. Joe stands and protests, interrupted by the junkpiler’s wife who opines it was Jan who offered this article, and she demands that the selectmen name their enemy. The head selectman stammers and hems, explaining that the article came from the zoning board. “That’s what I said!” shouts the junkpiler. “Joe and Jan and all the other flatlanders are on the zoning board!” He receives a chorus of righteous support from the Bubbas, defending the right of anyone to pile junk as high as they like on their own property, and they aren’t going to take their engines down outta their trees or move their spare tires outta the yard, neither. Jan sleeps through the battle and vote (overwhelmingly in favor of junkpiles), but wakes long enough to beg eloquently for money to plant flower bulbs and crabapple trees on town property – which convinces everyone that it was she, indeed, trying to abridge the God-given rights of junkpile owners. While everyone silently contemplates this, someone pipes up: she wants to know where the schoolkids got the money to buy a buncha evergreens she’d seen them planting, and why were they plantin’ trees during school hours, anyhow?

Soon the Minister calls a halt for lunch, several of the farmers sneak out, and the selectmen invite us to buy lunch from the ladies during our break. When lunch is over, very little remains on either sale table. The Snowmobile Club ladies pack up and go home. The Church and Historical Society ladies spend the rest of the meeting making a clatter and hushing each other as they clean up.

The day wears on, and we grow weary from sitting too long on hard chairs. We have to finish the business we started, however, so we shift and shift and shift in our seats, saying less and voting faster. We reject secession, zoning, paving and social reform; we agree to spend our mites on a few new books, some fancy equipment for the firehouse, snowplowing overtime, and even set aside enough for a few jonquil bulbs and a crabapple. We have examined and defended personal freedom and individual grievances; our impressions of each other have been reinforced; and in spite of that, we’ve enjoyed each other’s company and broken bread together.

Dusk has slid over our heads and lights come on up and down the streets. We vote the meeting ended. We welcome silence, and woodsmoke in the chilly air; we drift out of the schoolhouse, curiously light on our feet. The year turns on its hinge, the town will spin on for another twelve months, and in it we will dance our own dances, with each other and alone.

(Originally published in the Concord Monitor, February 26, 2017, as “Meeting Season.”

Saturday, February 25, 2017

From the Edge of Darkness: 3



Photo: Charley Freiberg

Gun Gal





OK, I admit it: I grew up shooting guns.


My grandfather (the one next door; the other, Irish one, briefly kept bird-hunting dogs, but as far as I know, he never actually shot anything more lethal than a golf ball) always had a rifle and a shotgun, as most rural men did, back in the dark ages. He only used them once, however; shortly after he came of age, he went hunting and shot a deer, came back, cleaned his gun, locked it all away and never took it out again, ever, because killing that deer was such a traumatic experience. Never - even to shoot at the fox and raccoons that would regularly find a way into the hen house and cause chaos; never for any reason, at all. If you weren’t hunting for food, Gramp believed, there was no reason to have a ready gun, and watching that gorgeous deer die at his hands caused him to vow it was the last damage he ever wanted to personally inflict on another living creature. He’d cuss at the fox and raccoons and skunks that caused him grief, instead.


Back in the dark ages, those were the only things anyone would have a gun for – hunting for food, and to deal with pests. “Pests” meant critters like woodchucks who eluded trapping and were trashing your garden, which meant your winter food supply would be significantly reduced; raccoons who kept  stealing your corn and dumping your trashcan – though mostly folks would shoot a BB gun at these, to scare them off rather than kill them; ditto the crows who might be yanking up your new-sprouted  crops, the fox or skunk determined to get into the henhouse, the rats causing destruction in the barn, and the unlikely, but not impossible, time one might need to dispatch a rabid wild critter.  If you made the mistake of actually shooting and killing a skunk,  for weeks to come you and all the neighbors would remember the lesson that not all pests should be shot. Guns stayed in their places unless they were being used for a job – they were tools, and you didn’t leave your tools hanging about.


The other thing a gun might be used for was target shooting. Target shooting was how every dad (back then, around here, it was always a dad) would introduce gun safety to their children. The local Fish and Game club had a target range – an outdoors bare spot out in the puckerbrush, with a sand bank and many hay bales for safety in front of which the targets (usually a used tin can) were arrayed. We happened to have our own good private target practice spot, because there was a sand-bank hill behind Gramp’s garage. At a certain age, when we were physically big enough and emotionally and mentally calm enough, fathers would decide it was time to teach their kids about safe gun-handling practices, and an important part of that was learning to target shoot. You can’t learn to use a saw if you never cut something with one, and you can’t learn to use a gun if you never shoot something with it.


However, besides our dads’ homeschooling about how to care for, respect, and use that tool, if there was any chance we might also want to go hunting some day – and even if we didn’t, just to reinforce the home lessons -  we’d all sign up for Hunter Safety classes, wherein we learned to never, ever, ever point a gun, loaded or unloaded, at anything you didn’t intend to shoot; and not to ever point the gun at something you couldn’t see clearly; and to not just take pot-shots at game, but to attempt only a clean, clear shot; as well as how to load and unload a rifle or shotgun safely, endless lectures on the use of the safety catch and endlessly repeated cautions not to rely on it; lectures about not loading a gun until ready to use it; and lessons in how to safely clean a gun, which meant solitude, uninterrupted focus,  and never, ever, ever, ever pointing the gun at anything you didn’t intend to shoot, even after carefully checking that it was unloaded – because that’s how tragic errors were made.  And finally, to lock the unloaded, cleaned gun in a gun safe, the ammunition locked in its own, separate safe, and the keys stored elsewhere. A gun was a dangerous tool, though a useful tool, but you didn’t leave it “on” any more than you’d leave your table saw running or your cookstove boiling water while you went to the store or took a nap.


Advanced Hunter Safety included practical – that means doing it for real – lessons in how to safely carry a gun in the field, over uneven terrain, across streams, over fences and walls, in a boat, and how to do those things  if hunting alone, or how to do it differently if hunting with a partner. We learned that we always, always, always followed game we’d wounded to humanely dispatch the beast, no matter how unpleasant the weather, how far we had to walk, how dark it was getting. We learned some very basic first aid. We learned that safety, and caution, always took precedence over making a shot; and we learned to respect the game we were hunting, and to play fair with them. We took these classes several years running for reinforcement; and each year, we got a certificate saying whether we’d passed; and in-between times, our fathers took us target shooting and taught us how to care for our tools – once again how to safely clean them, and that they should be locked up always and the key stored somewhere else, and what kind of a recoil a .22 rifle packs compared to a 16-guage shotgun, for example, and which would be appropriate for deer hunting, and which for bird hunting, or just target shooting. 


We became pretty good shots over the years; I can remember worrying, when I started driving and got my first pair of glasses, that the glasses would mess up my accuracy, and being thrilled to find I adapted rapidly – I could still hit the tomato paste can dead on from the same distance. Target shooting was entertainment, constrained by how expensive the ammunition was, how often our fathers were willing to let us borrow their guns, and how taken we became with the sport. I had a t’ai chi student once who took it up as an adult, and became very, very good at it. He spent many happy weekends traveling to meets around the country and winning membership in higher and higher categories of sharp-shooting. That kind of target shooting is very specialized – always practiced outdoors, and there are contests from lying position, kneeling position, standing position, different distances, and so on, national standings, and contests all over the country. We, however, just shot at tin cans, and had fun doing it.


Dad gave up hunting in much the same manner his father did – he instilled in us the understanding that if we weren’t going to eat it – and he didn’t like wild meat, so he wasn’t going to eat it – we shouldn’t shoot it. Even so, he made sure his children had a good education and thorough experience handling guns, because a gun is a tool, a very dangerous tool – at least as dangerous as a car, even more so because it’s so portable – and back here, back then, many people owned at least one of those tools. We were going to understand and respect those tools no matter whose house we encountered them in, and our training was sufficient that we could judge for ourselves whether the guns in other houses we entered were safely handled. 


I never had any interest in hunting, and didn’t like the bang of the recoil of a shotgun against my tender shoulder; Brother, on the other hand, became a hunter, and a trapper. Dead heads hang from his living room walls, elk and venison reside in the deep chest freezer in his cellar, and Niece, having grown up under the watchful eye of past game, is very fond of those old heads – enough to take one to her own, grown-up home. Brother eats what he hunts, and I sometimes do, as well.  In the dark ages when we were growing up, hunted meat still made up a reasonable percentage of rural people’s diets – often a necessary percentage. I believe this to be much less true in our modern dark ages, and I know that many rural folks – probably most – haven’t received anything like the gun training we received as a matter of course, hunters or not, if they’ve received any at all.




Tools vs Weapons


When I was a teenager Dad became a policeman, and from that time onwards owned a revolver. That revolver started a new cycle of our education about guns. He made sure we each got one opportunity to shoot his revolver: he wanted us to understand, viscerally, how powerful it was, how hard to control because of its weight and its recoil; he wanted us to see for ourselves that it was nothing we ever, ever, would want to handle. He explained carefully about how a revolver, as opposed to a rifle or shotgun, worked; and how anyone casually handling one could accidentally shoot something they didn’t mean to, because there would be a bullet you couldn’t see in the live chamber, even after you’d removed the rest of the bullets. Making certain that hidden bullet was removed before doing anything else with the gun – like cleaning it - was a deadly responsibility, and took extra care to remember and a certain amount of knowledge to accomplish.


For police and military, guns are weapons, and the mind-set required to use that weapon is very different from the one that can hunt or loves target practice. Because our training had been so careful, we got that – there were gun tools that were appropriate for regular folks, and there were gun weapons that regular folks would never need, and should not play with, lest they get burned.


When Dad retired from the police force, he kept a revolver, and had a permit for concealed carry. Whether realistic or not, Dad was, as many retired cops are, a little paranoid about his past occupation. No matter how good a cop you are, people carry chips on their shoulders from interactions they’ve had with even small town police, about even small-potatoes offenses – give me a speeding ticket, will ya? We’ll see about that! Do you have any idea who I am?!


From the time he first became a cop, until the decades later when he retired, regular folks had started acquiring weapon guns, even in rural, small towns, for reasons that had nothing to do with them being a tool. Guns, in too many minds, had become a way of acquiring power; of addressing injustices, real or imagined; of comforting a feeling of fearfulness – fear of other people whose intentions one doesn’t know, fear of imagined bogey-men, fear that one is weak and at risk, and feelings of desperation. The guns that we debate, most often, and that cause most damage, are no longer tools – guns are weapons. And a weapon is designed, and intended, to kill another human being.


Dad’s post-retirement revolver was, in his mind, a way of protecting himself from someone who might choose to use a weapon to correct some injustice that person had suffered at the hands of my father, the cop. He had a concealed carry permit and his revolver traveled with him under his car seat; it lived in his bedside set of drawers when he slept.  He didn’t carry it about wherever he went, only to places where he felt uncertain; he kept it carefully put away at home. I have to admit, the farther in time he lived past retirement, the more uncertain I became about his need for weaponized security. 


I don’t believe he would ever have actually used his revolver; he was too well trained, and would have used every other means available to him first. But as he grew older, and then after he became ill, he didn’t always have his weapon under perfect control – and by that I mean that he neglected,  twice at least, to bring it indoors with him when he arrived home, leaving it under the seat of his locked car, and then sending me out to fetch it when he remembered; I may even have driven that revolver unknowingly around town once when I used his car to run errands for him – I don’t know and can’t know, because at the time, I didn’t think about it often enough to realize I should check for it, which was, in retrospect, a foolish error on my part. I trusted my Dad too much, even though I knew he could not be perfect. I knew he had a gun, and it was my responsibility – as he’d trained me – to be cognizant of the whereabouts and condition of that gun at all times when I was in his space. I dropped the ball.


As he moved closer to the end of his life, Dad’s disease began to play tricks on his mind. One night, he hallucinated a woman standing in his bedroom, staring at him; another time, he “saw” a truck pulled up on his second floor porch. At this time he kept his revolver in the drawer of his bedside table, and, not as soon as I should have, it occurred to me that leaving it there was very, very dangerous. I snuck into his room when he was asleep – another foolish thing to do, when there is a weapon at the ready to deal with intruders – and took it from its drawer. I called a policeman I know to come remove the bullets – I remembered my early training, and knew it had been far too long for me to do safely or completely.  We hid the gun where Dad couldn’t possibly get at it – a dangerous assumption, I note, as even people weak with Alzheimer’s or cancer or other debilitating conditions can unexpectedly muster the strength that enables them to do things we never believed possible – and the policeman took away the ammo. Next day, I located the rest of the ammo and it, too, left the building with someone who knew how to keep it safe. I had my own brief flashback to when my father removed his father’s decades-unused guns from his house, during Gramp’s last illness.



The First Threat


There are still hunters who are well-trained and who hunt responsibly and ethically. There are target-shooters who are well-trained and extraordinarily careful with their guns. These people understand that their guns are dangerous tools, and they are, to a large extent, people about whom I don’t worry about their gun ownership. They generally have a clarity about what their guns are, and know precisely what they will use them for, what unplanned damage they can do, and they know how to be extraordinarily careful and mitigate the likelihood of them causing damage. 


Some of the guns folks now hunt with however are no longer tools, but weapons turned upon game animals, which would have horrified the Hunter Safety instructors of my youth. Besides being totally unnecessary – like using an axe to cut a bouquet of spring flowers, or a flame-thrower to light your woodstove – the amount of power and destructive capability in these guns was never originally intended for hunters.  Gun manufacturers have found a busy market and great profits, however, amongst – well – I can’t easily call them sportsmen.  I have no problem with folks who can otherwise afford to eat well who also want to hunt game to eat, or who donate their game to soup kitchens to help feed the hungry; but jeez, guys, let’s at least keep it sporting. Your manhood doesn’t suffer if you don’t get your limit every year; in fact, if you really want to prove your skill, take up muzzle-loaders or bow and arrow hunting. Those hunters are real hunters.


I’ll admit right now that the commentary I just made on modern hunters isn’t fact written in stone, and an argument that I might even eventually agree with could possibly be made to support technologically-advanced hunting equipment. Possibly. But what is fact, is that these technologically-advanced guns are no longer tools – they straddle the divide between tool and weapon, perhaps remaining a tool in the minds of some users, but in physical reality are absolutely weapons, and were originally designed by the manufacturers to be weapons. Not admitting that fact – and not being willing to make use – and enthusiastically promote the use - of technology that can render the weapons harmless or unusable in the hands of the untrained, or the foolish, or in those who have acquired illicit possession of them – renders the hunters and target shooters who own such weapons dangerous. Their arguments against standardizing such technology lack credibility, and the owners themselves lose, not only a sympathetic hearing, but make me afraid. Denying the danger posed by the wide-spread use and ownership of such weapons solves nothing, but certainly expands a great cultural – and humanitarian - divide.


I worry about those hunters – I don’t hear the clarity and precision in their viewpoint that makes me feel comfortable. I don’t hear them talking about Hunter Safety courses and carefully stored guns, about children carefully schooled in gun safety, about passing on a careful, precise heritage. What I hear, instead, is that acquisition of power has become the most important thing, and that me, mine, what I want, now, now, NOW is more important than everything else. I don’t hear caution, or safety, or respect for life, or even reason. What I hear is a person with a weapon with a twitchy finger on the safety – if the safety’s even on.  And I can’t even see if the catch is on or off, because these guys bounce around so much, jumping and dodging and shouting, that I can’t make sense of whether they understand – or care about  - what’s truly at stake.


There are easily accessible solutions that, if deployed, could make me content to keep my nose out of the business of these sportsmen, if they would embrace the safety features, implement them on their own, and were joined in this by the whole-hearted, vigorous support of state Fish and Game departments, shooting clubs, and the sportsmen’s clubs that used to be in the forefront of promoting safety measures. Technology can make it impossible to use a gun if you aren’t its legal owner. Technology can be retrofitted to most, if not all, these weapons. Technology that is safer than the old safety catches, that would make it unlikely that a child could accidentally shoot a gun that someone’s error let them get their hands on, that would make it difficult if not impossible for an angry teenager hell-bent on destruction to make use of his grandfather’s guns to prove some immature brain’s point, and that wouldn’t create an unreasonable burden on the sportsman, exists. It’s there.  It won’t negate the need for careful training and care in use and handling, but it would take a lot of the scary out of these weapons. The Hunter Safety instructors, and Game wardens, and fathers of my day – and even the NRA – would have been the first to welcome and promote the use of these safety devices. That they don’t now – what does this mean? Does it mean they enjoy all the unnecessary killings? Have they all gone mad? I see no other reasonable interpretation, because surely a human being, faced with a simple solution that could save other human lives, would embrace that solution – wouldn’t they? They would put life on a higher plane than temporary inconvenience, right?




The Second Threat


The gun owners I really, really worry about – that we should all worry about, and by “we” I include other gun owners – are the ones who are buying guns solely to use as weapons. These folks sometimes claim to have received instruction, may have spent some time at a target range, and believe themselves to be well-trained in gun use and gun safety  - but they have no idea what proper training in the use of a weapon consists of. A very few actually are trained. Most aren’t. Most, who think they’re trained, have had someone show them how to load and fire their weapon, how to unload it and clean it; and maybe they’ve spent some hours at a shooting range blasting targets. What more is there, right? Well trained.


Consider the two of our elected state representatives in NH who have, in the past few years, accidentally dropped their loaded, concealed (until dropped) weapons onto the floor in the Legislative building, in rooms filled with other people. These folks, one would think, have several extra, driving reasons to demonstrate responsible gun ownership: but, Oops, both essentially said. There is no excuse – none – for such an accident. Those two people are clearly not trained properly, and are dangerous. They should not be allowed to own a gun. They were incredibly lucky to have not shot someone, and they shouldn’t be given a second chance. Ever. Being sternly spoken to by the presiding Republican (as it happens) is not a sufficient consequence.


How many times does this happen, in homes, in stores, in cars, one wonders? We know that children have gotten their hands on guns that were in Mom’s purse, or that Dad left sitting on a table, or that for any number of reasons weren’t unloaded, and weren’t properly locked up. We know that every year, someone who wasn’t trained properly, or who wasn’t focused on their task, shoots themselves – or someone else who shouldn’t have been in the room – while cleaning their weapon. That list of “accidental shootings” goes on, and on, and doesn’t even cover the accidents that actual hunters have when they aren’t well-trained, or let their caution take second place to some distraction. 


People who have bought a weapon have bought something that has just one purpose – to kill another human being. We all need to assume, very seriously, that anyone who owns such a thing has every intention of pointing it at another human, and attempting to kill them.  Not maybe; not only if they have to; but absolutely. And that any person who carries their weapon around with them intends to do so at any moment, without warning. We would be fools to think otherwise, and fools to think that we won’t be their target.


One problem with this situation is multi-polar: on the one hand, the person who buys a weapon somehow believes that the simple act of having a weapon means they’ll never need to use it. On the other hand, that person believes themselves to be capable – physically, mentally and psychologically – to actually shoot another human being if they do need to. On the third hand, that person believes that they will somehow be capable of determining when they need to shoot another human being, and which human should be shot. And on yet another hand – some of these folks are so eager to prove that they are under threat and capable of acting, that they will indeed shoot someone, first chance they get – and it’s unlikely to be a bad guy.


Police and military personnel are actually trained to shoot other human beings. Not only do they have the weapons training, but they have training in how to identify an actual bad guy, how to decide whether it’s actually safe to shoot the bad guy, and how to do so without getting shot themselves or killing innocent bystanders. They’ve been trained to decide when it’s actually appropriate to shoot another human being. Outside of an actual war situation, both will tell you it’s extremely difficult to shoot another human being. And even harder to do it right – just read the news to see how many times it goes wrong, how many times these folks – with specialized training – do it wrong; or can’t do it at all.


Specialized training does not consist of taking pot-shots at a human-outline target in an indoor target shooting range. I don’t care what the range instructor told you – he lied. If you aren’t a member of a police force, military unit, or related  government agency with specialized weapons training, you have NOT received the training you need to be armed with a weapon and for me to be safe anywhere near you.


We can expect that someone who is so afraid of other people that they need to have a gun at hand to feel safe, aren’t going to lock up their guns, even at home – after all, if you think you’re going to have to protect yourself at any moment from a home invasion, you aren’t going to want to go fetch the key to the gun safe, then go open the gun safe, then go get the key for the ammo, then go get the ammo, then load the gun before you shoot at the invaders. Those people are going to feel righteously justified keeping their loaded guns at their sides; or under their beds when they sleep; or maybe even casually placed on a coffee table or countertop while they run to the bathroom, or talk on the phone, or take a shower, or change a diaper, or make supper.  And when they enter a situation they consider dangerous – the local grocery store, for example, or a theater, or the bank – they’re likely to find it easy to convince themselves that it’s ok to unbuckle the strap that keeps their hidden gun from launching itself out of the holster if the wearer moves wrong; or leave their little pistol in their purse on the shopping cart seat while they read package labels, or talk to the butcher – aimed at who knows whom? Those seconds it takes to unbuckle, unsnap, undo the strap, retrieve the gun, could mean the difference between being the hero and being shot – right? And they won’t drop the gun accidentally - no, of course they won’t. That never happens.


Those people wouldn’t do any of those things if they had been properly trained. And the truth is, if they had been properly trained, they wouldn’t own those guns, because the training would convince them that they – as civilians, as parents, as responsible community members - can’t possibly own a weapon for protection, and safely manage it, much less effectively and safely use it.


I worry about those people. Too many have been hyped-up by others like them, by gun manufacturers, by target range owners, by the NRA, and are just itching to demonstrate that they, actually, can effectively use their weapons and protect themselves and others. They can’t wait to prove themselves right, which is a very dangerous mind-set. These people have done – and will continue to – shoot innocents (and sometimes themselves). Maybe it’ll be the son or daughter away at college who comes home for a surprise visit and arrives unexpectedly in the middle of the night; maybe it’ll be a paperboy whose aim was off and is poking around in the bushes near your front window trying to retrieve the lost newspaper; maybe it’ll be a stranger who” looks suspicious” but is just taking a walk, or maybe a stranger who does something unexpected but not at all threatening.  A number of these armed citizens will have their weapons taken from them, as they fumble to get it out and the safety off, and used against them by someone who might be a threat – but who might not have shot them, had there been no gun causing a bigger threat. One might almost consider that ironic justice.


I worry about those people because they get too much encouragement and they don’t have any common sense. They’re told that sure, they’ll be able to protect themselves; that sure, they’ll be able to do it without killing innocents; that they’ll be the hero of the day. You see it in the movies all the time, right? No one ever tells them that in a shooting situation, there’s chaos; that it’s often impossible to identify, or even see, the bad guy; that while they’re fumbling in their purses or under their coats with their shoulder holsters, or in the waistbands of their pants (an excellent place to store a loaded weapon if you want to shoot yourself), or under their bed, in a night-time home invasion, they’re likely to get shot in the head or the balls before they ever get their weapon out. No one tells them that when they’re scared to death, their hand will shake, and they won’t be able to get the safety off, or once they do, they won’t be able to aim accurately, and their eyes will be full of tears, or smoke, and they’ll be shitting themselves, and they won’t be able to stand and aim because they’ll be lying on the floor hiding, or surrounded by people trying to trample them, and they won’t be able to even raise their heads. No one tells them. No one tells them that policemen and military who are much better trained, and who receive continual training so it can’t grow stale, in a similar situation would not be able to do what these gun owners imagine they can do.  And no one tells them that if they’re unexpectedly successful – that if they somehow, against all odds, manage to get their weapon out and blast the bad guy and no one else in the process - that if they’re good people, they’ll be haunted by that act for the rest of their lives.


And I especially worry about the people who are arming themselves to protect themselves from the other, seriously deluded people I worry about. These people will end up dead or horribly traumatized; and they will spend the rest of their lives trying to make sense of the darkness that entered their souls long enough to let them go out and buy a weapon.




The Third Branch of Threats


People seem to forget that what we see in the movies isn’t actually real – real life scenarios don’t play out like movie scripts, and there’s no cameraman directing our attention to the proper areas of danger.  People today – ordinary people - are irritable – very, very irritable, and often rude, and impatient, and don’t have filters or checks on their emotions, and often don’t see any reason to have such when dealing with strangers. Pair that with our speed of travel, and our almost complete lack of control over who is carrying a weapon and where they’re carrying it, and an imagined or real conflict that in the old days would have exhausted itself before something bad happened, doesn’t have time to exhaust itself – summary, emotion-driven, thoughtless resolutions are too easy to accomplish. If I had a grudge with the town officers and had to stomp 5 miles back home, or ride the horse back, or even drive the old car back, get my gun out and load it, then stomp all the way back to town, chances are good that I’d have cooled off before I got there and not actually shot someone. Today all I have to do is reach into my purse and pull a trigger. I don’t even have to pull it out.


We, some of us, also have an irrational idea that we’re always in imminent danger. We aren’t. Though - with the trend towards letting anyone and everyone own any kind of weapon they like and carry it hidden anywhere they choose to go – maybe we are. 


Our current politicians have encouraged violent reactions to political opponents; our current president has incited violence, surrounded himself with minions who also do so, and has implied that righteous violence is ok, won’t be punished. Our current governor and state legislature have also encouraged the mind-set that being armed is good.  This understandably gives comfort and encouragement to the lunatic fringe in our society, which seems to be growing bigger by the moment. The people who, in the past, we could rely on to protect us from our lesser selves, are now eagerly promoting bad behavior.


There are also people whose mental conditions don’t preclude them from owing a gun – someone with untreated mental illness, untreated PTSD especially from a war-time situation, anger management issues, and chronic illness, or even advanced age, that can unexpectedly cause that person to act in unpredictable ways. All these people, in our current world, can and do have weapons.


And then there are the people who are stockpiling weapons, certain that one or another politician or government is going to need to be opposed – by an untrained militia of yahoos who have no tanks, no bombs, no sense. These people are more than slightly insane, and so, scary and dangerous.  Put into this category also the people who are preparing for the zombie apocalypse, or the end of days, and determined to protect themselves and their stuff from the rest of us – to what end, exactly? What kind of a world would remain for them to live in?



What Next?


I don’t know, honestly. I do know I’ve heard more than enough about the threat to the Second Amendment. At this point in time, the threat to all our lives should take precedence. The folks who wrote the 2nd Amendment lived in a world of mainly muskets, which couldn’t easily be hidden (and also weren’t very accurate). They lived in a time when most everyone had a gun because they needed it to acquire food, and it was a useful tool. They didn’t live in a time when civilians were trying to kill each other for reasons that would have made no more sense to them than it does to most of us; they didn’t live in a time when people received no training in the use of the extremely deadly tools they owned, and were as likely to shoot at other humans than not.


They couldn’t have imagined today, nor the firepower available to the common person, nor the kind of weapons all military have, nor the kind of weapons terrorists – even our own terrorists – turn against innocent people. The Framers wanted to be sure the citizenry could form a militia – but I really doubt that means they would think it ok that today’s citizens own tanks, and military fire-power, and bombs, and missile launchers, and the rest of the gear we’d need to actually fight a war or defend ourselves against an invading military force. They weren’t seers. Sometimes – like now, only about 250 years after they wrote down the ideas that made good sense in their time – we’re going to have to adjust our understanding to fit the modern state of things, and maybe even re-write their words to fit the world today. They would be the first to say so, and several did, in fact.


We don’t necessarily need to ban guns completely. We do need to make it impossible for the crazies, the morbidly frightened, the untrained, the racists, the self-proclaimed heroes, and anyone with a serious impediment to safe use to have free access to them. We need a stringent national training program designed to cover specifically the type of gun you want to own, that must be passed before anyone can own a gun, of any type – even if you inherited it, Bubba; and repeated every two years while in possession of a gun. We need a no-forgiveness policy: you do something dangerous with your gun, you lose all gun privileges forever.  And yes – I’ll say it again - everyone who owns a gun – tool or weapon – needs to prove, immediately, that they can safely handle that type of gun for the purpose it was designed for – tool or weapon – or lose possession of it, immediately. No exceptions.

We need to immediately ensure that all weapons are fitted and remain updated with the most current technology to remain usable only by the person who has proved they are trained to use it. And we need to eliminate from that category all persons about whom we have good reason to question their reasoning capacity or their legal capacities – for example, beat your wife? No gun for you.  Ever killed someone? Unless it was unquestionably in self-defense, no gun for you.  No longer physically or mentally capable of getting a driver’s license, for example, or have a diagnosis of uncontrolled depression, PTSD, mental illnesses, etc.? No gun for you. And maybe, in some circumstances, for some people, you can prove yourself capable of safely handling a gun, but maybe you shouldn’t be able to have it always about your person, or in your home. Maybe you store your gun at a secure site, and check it out when you’re going target shooting, or during hunting season. 


Still worried about the Second Amendment? Fine. Let anyone who wants one have a musket, which is what the framers of the Constitution had in mind for weaponry when they wrote that. 


We need, also, to have a serious national conversation about why, in past years, we’ve let the incomprehensible demands of incautious gun-owners and –promoters to take precedence over common sense and human safety. Why, for even a moment, have we made ease of acquisition of these dangerous weapons more important that public safety? Why, for even a second, have we seriously considered making concealed carry legal, and permitting even open carry in public places? Have we all gone mad? We – most especially the gun owners and politicians who promote such things – need to seriously, and soberly, consider what those concepts have done to our humanity, and the safety of all of us. This isn’t about one person’s preference over another – this is about basic human standards.


I wrote this not to preach to the choir; I wrote this hoping that if you’re a gun owner, you read it and don’t react – that you stop, and listen, and think about it and remember that most of what I’ve said here is what we all thought, not long ago. If you’re also an excessively enthusiastic 2nd Amendment promoter, think back and remember – when did you start to believe that your right to gun ownership was at risk? Because not at all, in the 60 years I’ve been on this earth, has there been an actual threat to those rights; and not until gun owners started to insist that their ownership and easy access to guns and the freedom to carry them everywhere are more important than the safety of us all, did anyone start to seriously talk about defining and regulating any part of those rights. Only when your demands became scarily nonsensical and strident did most of us care. So - when did you decide that your ownership of any type of gun, and as many guns as you want, was more important than public safety?  When did it become ok with you that you’re scaring the bejeezus out of the rest of us? Because as it stands now, your demands about gun ownership are seriously threatening my Constitutional right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness; the right to live without fear; the right to feel safe in my home, and in the public and private spaces of our towns - even if you, too, are there. We can’t have a discussion until you do some sober contemplation and stop shouting.


We need our politicians to stand up and show some balls, instead of their concealed weapons. The NRA is only as powerful as you believe them to be, and there are a lot more of us than there are of them. And we need to make sure our politicians hear us – loudly, clearly, over and over and over, until they begin to get it, and put lives higher on their list of priorities than winning the NRA’s approbation. 


Start in your home state. The national politicians won’t be able to clearly hear us until we do something they have to pay attention to – so change the laws locally, first. And toss the bastards who refuse to do so out of office.

We are all Witnesses. Written solely for the blog, from the Edge of Darkness, February 25, 2017. 


Art by Debra Marshall