I Have PTFS

 

Peonies are up, but barely; this is from last year!

 I’ve got a bad case of PTFS (post-traumatic Florida syndrome).

Back in the middle of March, I got a call from the dear friend who foolishly lives in Florida: her dad had just died unexpectedly, and would I come down. I promised years ago I’d come down and help her when her dad died.

First I said NO! COVID! And then I rethought  - well, I’ve been fully vaccinated. So I emailed my PCP for a second opinion, and she said she thought it was reasonable to go. So I got a Covid test, because dear friend isn’t vaccinated and is in poor health in complicated ways. The test was negative, so only dread was keeping me from going. Dread, as in, I’ve been dreading this day for years.

For those of you who are wondering, the airplanes were packed tight, Manchester airport was comfortable but the other airports were jammed, they do a good job insisting people wear masks – except when eating and drinking, and of course that’s what most people do when on a plane or waiting for a plane to stave off boredom. So I did a whole lot of glaring at what I considered offenders on the way down and way back. It is possible to eat and drink around a mask without taking it completely off and leaving it off for a half hour while you have a leisurely meal broken up by phone call and phone games and reading – I proved it, but very few other people were willing to take the challenge. I did a lot of glaring.

Florida is a third-world country with an attitude. Depending on where you go – sometimes, just from one store next door to the next – people are being cautious and there’s hand sanitizer and mask-wearing and it feels safe; or there are no masks being worn, there’s no hand sanitizer, the site looks like it hasn’t been cleaned in years, and I expected the guy standing next to me, who I kept moving away from to no effect, to hock up a goobie and spit in onto the floor in front of me any second. And as soon as their idiot governor cancelled the state-wide mask mandate, which he did as soon as possible, pretty much anyone who was wearing a mask took it off.  I don’t know how many times I said, “Put on a mask. Put on a mask. Put on a mask.”

When people die, especially when they die unexpectedly, the shock is kind of unfathomable. Dear friend’s Dad wasn’t well, and hadn’t been for years and years, and yet, he seemed immortal. What he died of wouldn’t have killed most people, but his brave and loving heart finally gave out. And dear friend lost, overnight, her father, her care-taker, her companion. Not an easy thing to accommodate, mentally or emotionally; even harder if you have medical conditions that turn your world upside down and inside out.

So there was much to be done, in a short period of time, and only one other helpmeet, who also lives at a distance. Florida, besides being a third-world country with an attitude, is where people go when they retire. The law firm Dad had used to draw up his will barely three years ago no longer existed, because the partners had both retired. The new one I found specializes in elder-care law, but the only lawyer in the firm is a Harley-riding 75-year-old. The medical social worker is in his 80s. The caretaker/personal assistant we hired to help dear friend out with stuff that can’t be done in the middle of the night, which is her day, is 63. The real estate agent who’ll have the estate sale and sell one of the properties is in her 70s. Florida is, apparently, a country for old dudes.

At any rate, I was there for a little over 3 weeks, and there’s still a lot to do. A week after I left, Cousin from another distant state came for a week; and there’s still a lot to do. And part of what we do is worry that dear friend is lonely and has to grieve alone. Fortunately, she has some neighbors who are grieving with her: Dad was well-loved and touched many lives.

While I was there I saw a peacock in all his glory, accompanied by his harem, stroll slowly down the main street of town – a not uncommon experience, I was told. There was a crow that sat on the telephone wires near dear friend’s Dad’s house, and every day when I went down the driveway to fetch the mail, the crow would say, “Uh-oh. Uh-oh. Uh-oh.” When I opened the mailbox, it changed to “Oh no. Oh no. Oh no.” And then when I walked back to the house, it said, “Uh-uh. Uh-uh. Uh-uh.” I’d talk to it, and it’d cock its head and listen, but all it had to say, every single day, was the same thing. Which tickled me to no end.

NH crow - Clare McCarthy photo

There were lots of little lizards, and kind of big frogs that climbed the screen windows at night. While I was there they were having a cold snap, so it was a glorious low 70’s – all the locals were running around in sweatpants and scarves, and I was very comfortable in shorts and tee shirts.  The town has these amazing giant trucks that pick up the giant trash and recycle bins outside the house twice a week – the truck drivers don’t have to get out of the truck, instead a giant articulated arm emerges and with great accuracy lifts the bins and upends them into the bowels of the beast – it was like watching a giant robotic monster. I loved it.

And I found out that if you don’t keep a pool filled with water in Florida, if there’s a hurricane, the soaked ground around the pool will pop the pool up out of the ground  leaving a big hole and gawdawful mess. I almost wanted to see that.

And I didn’t see any alligators. Dear friend told me there was a 4-footer holed up in the shed where the recycle bin lives, one year. Fortunately, not repeated while I was there.

I’ve been back now for not quite a month; there’s still a lot to do, and it’s getting done slowly from the distance. And I came back with a vow to hoe out my own house, because when you’ve been helping hoe out someone else’s, you remember how much stuff you’ve got that you don’t need, no longer use, and maybe don’t even care for anymore. So for the last 3 weeks I’ve been collecting a lot of that stuff from my place, in order to have a yard sale this weekend.  My dining room and living room are full of boxes and bins, baskets and piles, of table linens, mismatched bed linens, clothes, dishes, glasses, pottery, bottles and jars, vases, scarves and gloves, coats and socks and hats, books, dvds, hand-made paper, knicks and knacks that have all lost their purpose in my house where once they were useful or beautiful or both. I’m breaking the New England 3 rules of ownership: I’m using all the stuff that’s too new or too good to use, so now I’m drinking only out of the hand-blown glasses that were too good to use until now; I’m getting rid of or using all the dead people’s stuff, but only using the stuff that I actually like; and if the stuff I’ve been saving for years just in case I might need it some day isn’t something I need now or clearly in the foreseeable future, out it goes.

This should be fun. Anyone need a dozen table cloths?

For the blog: herondragonwrites.blogspot.com      11 May 2021

February Update - Masks

February Covid Rant:

Update – Masks

You’ve had both shots of the Covid vaccine. Two weeks have passed. Your life now returns to normal, right?

WRONG. There’s a bunch of hooey going around the Internet telling people who’ve had the vaccines that they no longer need to wear masks. IT ISN’T TRUE.

Here’s the truth:

v  👉As of 10 February 2021, the CDC has said that people who have received both vaccine shots AND two weeks have passed so the vaccines have reached maximum protection, if you’re exposed to someone with symptoms of Covid 19 or who has Covid 19, you don’t have to quarantine for 2 weeks afterward, UNLESS you start to show symptoms.

v  👉Under all circumstances, you still must wear a mask, maintain social distancing, practice excellent hand hygiene, and all other CDC and state health department mandates about Covid 19 risk management. YOU HAVE TO WEAR A MASK ALWAYS. EVERYWHERE.

v  👉If your second Covid vaccine shot was more than 3 months ago and you’re exposed to someone with Covid 19 or the symptoms of Covid 19, then you DO need to quarantine: no one yet knows how long the vaccines are effective.

Things to remember to help you understand why you can’t return to normal even when you’ve had both shots of the vaccine:

• Ø  The vaccines are not 100% effective, so you can still catch it. You may be asymptomatic, or have such mild symptoms you don’t notice, and you can pass it on to other people.

• Ø  There are new variants of the virus in the country and no one yet knows how effective the vaccines are against those variants. One, the British variant, which has already been found (Feb ’21) in NH, is believed to be more deadly and cause more hospitalizations. Other variants may be more contagious but not as deadly – except for the people for whom they are; and you don’t know if you are one of those people.

• Ø  It really isn’t nice to risk passing on a potentially deadly disease to your friends and neighbors. You may personally be safer against serious infection because you’ve been vaccinated, but that doesn’t mean you aren’t capable of giving it to someone else. You are still not safe to be around for the vast majority of the population. Don’t freak everyone else out and don’t put them at risk!

Things for everyone to pay attention to about masks:

• ü  Masks are now more widely available, so everyone should have access to them. If you don’t, please come see us at Suite 230 and we’ll try to help you with that.

• ü  Cloth masks are generally less protective than the “paper” masks, because cloth masks are generally only 2 layers of woven material. Woven material is less protective than the paper, non-woven-material masks. Cloth masks with replaceable filters are safer – as long as you replace the filters often enough and wash the masks frequently, and only handle them safely, and they fit tightly.

• ü  Paper, disposable masks are generally 3 layers of material (some are 4 layers), but most often don’t fit tightly. Some brands fit more tightly than others, and it depends on your face shape, but most gap at the cheeks and around the nose, even after the nose strip is adjusted. These are still slightly more effective than many cloth masks, which usually don’t have a bendable nose-strip, and so are even more “gappy.” And, once again, woven materials let in more pathogen – woven things aren’t tight enough material.

• ü  Cup-shaped masks with bendable nose strips are the better solution; even better if the ear loops are adjustable for a snug fit. A paper disposable mask with a bendable nose piece, covered by a cup-shaped cloth mask of at least 2 layers of tightly-woven material, if it fits well, can be 90% or more effective. You still have to toss the paper mask regularly, and wash the cloth mask regularly, and handle the whole in a way that doesn’t spread pathogen from the outside of the mask to the inside when you’re putting it on and taking it off.

• ü  KN95 masks which are becoming more available nowadays are cup-shaped, with bendable nose strips, made of non-woven material. They’re disposable, so you can’t wear one forever, you need to toss them every so many days; they still leak if they don’t fit your face well. They have 5 layers of non-woven material and so are 90% or more effective. They tend to be a little expensive: $2.50 or more per mask. They will fool you into thinking they’re washable – they aren’t! They just look and feel less like paper than the surgical-style paper masks.

• ü  N95 masks are similar to KN95 masks but are even more adjustable – the ear loops or straps can be adjusted and the cup shape is more rigid, but moldable. These are the masks hospital workers wear under their face shields, and are not widely available, and should be reserved for fragile patients and health-care workers. They are also disposable, unless you have fancy sterilizing equipment. They are also expensive – running about $6 per mask.

Safe Mask Handling:

• If it gets wet, toss it if it’s paper, wash it if it’s cloth, and if it gets wet while you’re out somewhere, replace it immediately with a dry one because a wet mask is not protective. At all. Carry a clean replacement with you. Clean, unused masks can be stored in plastic baggies.

• ·         Wash the cloth masks often – you need to have at least 5 or more per person to be able to wash them often enough.

• ·         DO NOT touch the inside of your masks, paper or cloth!

• ·         DO NOT put the dirty outside of your mask down on your clean dining room table or kitchen counter or anywhere you don’t want Covid virus. Find a better way to store them. Putting a used mask, folded carefully in half, inside touching inside, outsides out, into a clean paper bag is one method.

• ·         If you can’t tell inside from outside of your cloth masks, and you don’t wash them every time you use them, mark them so you won’t make a fatal mistake.

• ·         Don’t handle your masks without clean hands!

• ·         Wash your face once you’re home, having first carefully washed your hands after  removing your masks and storing or tossing them. Your face has been subjected to everything your mask walked through, and a dirty face will quickly be a source of virus transferral to your nose or mouth because WE ALL TOUCH OUR FACES, ALL THE TIME.

• ·         How often to toss or wash your masks? Depends on where you’ve been. The more people you’ve been around (grocery store, church, doctor’s office, etc) and the longer you’ve spent in closed spaces with them, the more immediately you should change your mask. When I go get labwork done, or see my MD, for example, I dump the paper mask I’m wearing immediately I get back to my car, sanitize my hands carefully, then put on a new, clean mask  before I go anywhere else. Grocery store? Depends on how long I’m in it, how small it is, how many other people were there. Walking through the Tiptop to get to my office? I’ll wear the same mask for a week or two. Treating patients? Every day; more often if sneezing or coughing (mine or theirs) happens.

 

An Interesting Week

Calla Lily Leaves

Well, this has been an interesting week: I got the second Covid vaccine (sore arm, one day of creepy-crawly skin, irritable, squirrely stomach, and sleepiness, followed by 2 more days of sore arm, sleepiness) and slept through Lincoln, The Rose, and most of The Importance of Being Earnest, then many hours of Poirot on Acorn; on day 2 I was well enough to do some paperwork until my brain just gave out. Stayed awake for Downton Abbey but lost it for Poirot again, and went to bed early.  I had chills both days, but that could be a function of our house (woodstove) and sweats at night, which could also be a function of the house (a tendency to load up with too many blankets when the bed’s cold when I first get into it), but overall, much better than the symptoms of having Covid. Today’s looking to be a close repeat of yesterday.

Of course now, according to the latest QAnon word, transmitted to me by way of someone who had a conversation with a follower recently, I have a molecule inside me that allows the overlords to track me and I’ll slowly become a zombie. Sounds like fun. Do Q zombies eat pizza and curry? 

If you plant these mini roses, they'll live in the garden

Also this week, as expected, the rat bastards in the Senate found the worst president in history not guilty of inciting insurrection, then some of them tried to land on the correct side of history by saying it was because they had no power to try a “private citizen.” Riiiiight. After – how many was it? 147? of the most respected Constitutional scholars from both sides of the political divide in the country got together to write a letter to the Senate telling them it was their considered opinion that the Senate did, indeed, have every right to try the ex-president. Nice try, McConnell.

After a few days of recovery perhaps we’ll get some time, as a dear friend longs for, when we won’t have to hear the Inciter-in-Chief’s name on the news. Though it would be welcome if paired with the words “Sentenced to Jail” attached.

I’m in the midst of ordering seeds and such, assuming that spring will eventually arrive despite all signs to the contrary. Snow expected tomorrow, again; there were only 2 days this week we actually didn’t get at least some hours of snow, so not a big surprise. I’ve got the live plants, potato, onion, leek, shallots all ordered, and a few seeds. There’s still a large list of seeds waiting to be sorted and put on an order form and mailed. I do it this old-fashioned way hoping that when I’m looking at the stupidly long list I’ll come to my senses and not over-order. It never happens. Part of the problem is that seeds are so tiny, and the garden seems so large; and part of the problem is that I live in the middle of a field, so my brain looks out at the back forty and says, “Pshaw, there’ll be plenty of room, go for it.” 

Stuff that lives in my dining room

 Of course, if we’re still in the middle of a drought as we were last year, I’ll need extra seed. Too many things needed to be replanted because they either took weeks and weeks to germinate, or germinated and soon after shriveled up and died.  It wasn’t a great year for gardening.

So if the world warms up in its usual time, I’ve got about two and a half months to get my hands in shape to be able to plant, otherwise the Husband’s going to have a miserable spring while he plants and I stand over him saying “Not that way!!” The weird thing that happened to my hands last summer soon after I injured my thumb by hitting a rock, hard, while hand-troweling planting holes, is still unresolved. One MD (bone specialist) said it’s arthritis, and couldn’t explain how 3 days of Vitamin D3 cured half of it; another MD (pain specialist) said it’s carpal tunnel, and couldn’t explain why the first MD didn’t think so, or how my left hand and my little finger on my right hand “caught” carpal tunnel from the right thumb.  I think they’re both wrong, though I think the second might be partially right. Whatever. I’m trying a new combo of Chinese injury formulas which are having some effect and might have enough effect over the next few months.

Two Days Later: So apparently the transition into zombie is well underway; at dusk last night (day 3 after the vaccine) my shot arm got wicked, wicked sore and it’s making my neck and shoulder and upper back on that side also sore. And my knees. And every other pain I’ve ever had in my body. I vaguely remember this happened last time, too, but earlier in the day so by morning it was all completely gone. It didn’t disappear overnight this time, so I’ve got CBD ointment on the arm (for some people arnica works well, it has no effect on me; and if I didn’t have the CBD here, I’d use either one of my Chinese medical ointments, or Tiger Balm, but I’m interested in testing the CBD so I’m using that), and a body warmer on the shirt over the painful spot (heat for 8-12 hours!) and a sweater over that, because chills seem to be part of this for me; and then a hot rice shawl-pad over the shoulder and neck and down the back, and a high-necked polar fleece vest on top of all. And I broke down and took a couple of acetaminophen.  It’s minimally helpful but the rice bag’s making my neck and shoulder feel better and I’m very sleepy.

So I’m going to end this and go sleep through a couple more DVDs, and with any luck tomorrow I’ll be pain-free or a total zombie. Fair warning for those of you who haven’t had the vaccines yet!

For the blog 15 February 2021: herondragonwrites.blogspot.com

All photos Deb Marshall

What amaryllis?

 

Not Going To Make Nice

Old bottle in window; Charley Freiberg photo

 

OK, enough of this bull-caca. If I hear another Republican, person, politician or pretend journalist say “this is not the time to convict/prosecute/blahblah Trump and his cronies, which will further divide the country….” I will puke. I hope directly onto the head of some idiot who’s thinking that way.

Impeaching and convicting Trump, prosecuting him and his cronies or in other ways forcing them to face consequences for the damage they’ve done to our country over the past 4 years, won’t “further divide the country.” The country’s already divided – on one side of the divide there are those of us who recognize truth, and on the other side there are those of youse who pretend that blatant, repeated lies and corruption and evil-doing  are not lies and corruption and evil-doing, and are trying to convince us that if we prosecute those who have perpetrated the lies and corruption and worse, it’s gonna piss off youse who pretend it’s not there . Those people, and I use the word advisedly, are already pissed, so they’re just going to get angrier – but let’s face it, they’re going to get angrier no matter what’s done or not done because they feed on anger and their own twisted version of offended righteousness. They enjoy it.

But there are a whole lot more of us who have been pissed off for 4 years, and continue to be pissed off, and are now more pissed off than ever, and if the evil-doers – and I don’t say that lightly, these are people who have done and continue to do evil as often as they can find a place to wedge it in – aren’t brought to actual justice, aren’t made to face consequences, aren’t thrown out on their ears and out of the political realm forever --- we are going to be even more pissed off.  So just because we truth-seers don’t smash windows and threaten to hang politicians and shoot people – just because we act like human beings instead of ignorant, violent, evil mobs – just because we don’t, doesn’t make our anger less important, nor less important to address, than the lie-tellers’. Why don’t they think they shouldn’t do the right thing, for a change, and work to end the division in the country?

Whatever is done or not done, someone’s gonna be pissed off – let it be them.

I’m waiting for some politician to say that obvious reality out loud.  Sometimes, human beings, our internal consciences telling us to make nice and make concessions and make bridges doesn’t serve us or the greater good. If you really need a Christian reference, go the heck into the Temple and smash up some money-grubbers’ tables, for heaven’s sake. Insist on sending the boogers to prison and let them stew in their own petard for a long time.

I’m done. I don’t want to find common ground. As far as I can see, there isn’t any. Let them show us some common ground if they want to kiss and make up. I’m not digging about in their privy pit any longer. I am not who youse are; most of us are not who youse are. But what you’ve demonstrated over the past 4 years is what youse are, and I want nothing to do with it.

Break the country in two if you can’t climb out of your cesspits of no ethics, immaturity, and vicious emotions. Break it in two, go somewhere else, live in a racist, nasty, self-serving, suspicious, dark hole with yourselves. Good riddance. Have fun walking about fully armed and frightening each other.  Test yourselves as a matter of law for ethnic impurities. Rip babies out of their parents’ arms and stick them in jails. Remove the civil rights you used to enjoy from everyone but your dictator and his family and cronies. Go back to the dark ages.  We’ll be over here in the sun, nurturing the wounded, feeding the hungry, healing the sick, housing the homeless, doing all those Christ-like things you hate. Don’t bother to write, we won’t answer.

A pox on youse.

I don’t want to hear a word from any of youse, unless it starts with “I’m really really sorry I ever voted for that bag of worthless meat…”

 

I let that stew for a bit to see if I still felt the same way a week or so later. I do. I’m still pissed, and it doesn’t look like I’m going to get over it any time soon.

On other fronts, the new boy cat has discovered he likes being carried out onto the wart so he can walk along the railing where I feed the birds, and rub his face all over them (the railings, not the birds). He wants mommy or daddy right there with him, and startles easily; but some days it means repeated trips out to sniff the air and scratch the rails and flick his tail at the all-too- bold squirrels.  Biscuit is not amused; she considers the outdoors her private territory and is annoyed when he tries o share part of it.

He has also discovered his butt fits very nicely in one of the pots in the chapel from which an amaryllis is trying to emerge.  I wonder who’ll win that battle?

Rasta looking guilty...Deb Marshall photo

We have RAVENS. Ravens are what has been stealing the suet cakes.  The suet cakes were disappearing  every day and I couldn’t figure out what was doing it – no fox or other footprints in the snow, and a squirrel or bluejay isn’t big enough to haul off an entire suet cake!

One day when I was putting out seed, I heard a thlup thlup thlup sound, like a helicopter from a distance. I looked up into the sky to see if I could locate it, and instead – a raven flew by, just feet away from me. It turned and made another pass, snagging the entire suet cake in its claws, then flew to the pine tree across the driveway and LAUGHED at me!

Ravens are huge, with at least 6-foot wingspans, as large as a red-tail hawk, as large as a small eagle. The other birds clear out when the ravens come for their snatch. I’ve been breaking the suet cakes into quarters and putting out only 2 per day; this way I get two chances to see them – and some days I do – and I don’t need to buy as much raven lure, because even at the evil store, a whole cake of raven lure per day would be kind of expensive after awhile.

I love seeing the ravens!  The Historian, hearing about them, told me a good story about how, when he was younger, he climbed Eagle’s Nest to get a close-up look at a raven’s nest – and was duly attacked and driven off! He came down from there quickly and decided it was a better idea to admire from a distance after that.

It’s almost the end of January. Wear your masks; wash your hands; don’t forget to put on handcream so your hands don’t get cracked and sore.

Actually, he kinda always looks guilty! Deb Marshall photo

I’ve put one of the handouts about the vaccine I made for my patients on the blog. There’s a great article in the New Yorker Magazine – it was the whole issue, in fact, in their January 4&11, 2021 magazine, about the virus, the vaccines, how and when they were developed, who did what and who didn’t do what they should have – well worth reading if you can access it.

Stay safe!

For the blog: herondragonwrites.blogspot.com

26 January 2021